My Battles with Silence
written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
““There is a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;...” Ecclesiastes 3:7”
I have yet another confession to share with you. I’ve spent most of my life avoiding silence. I’ve never felt especially comfortable with silence. I was always a hyper child, talkative and often manic. People and stimulation have always energized me, making me feel alive. I could never study effectively without the television or music blaring. I could never just quietly sit and think. My way of reflecting was verbal. If no one would listen, I would talk through things to myself.
In seminary, students made a big deal out of meditation, and I could never sit still or focus my mind. I felt as if my faith life was limited because I couldn’t be comfortable in silence with God. It has taken years of hard, uncomfortable practice to open myself to silence. Honestly, it remains somehow unnatural, but I can finally find space in my head to relax and focus silently.
Silence isn’t about an absence of sound. Silence is the ability to prioritize what you choose to focus on, tuning everything else out, until you no longer hear it. It is possible to be at one with silence even in a busy subway station, filled with commuters. Most of us require practice.
Writer Gustavo Razzetti correctly states that contemporary society has turned “noise into entertainment — it provides a temporary distraction so you can’t pay attention.” Silence isn’t something you create by subtracting sounds from your reality. Silence is learning to pay attention to the silent place in the head and soul, and not inviting anything else into that space.
Spiritual silence is going to your silent place and inviting only God into that space with you. Today, make some time to give it a try. Turn everything off, and notice your discomfort. As outside thoughts try to enter, let them slide back out of your mind. Even acknowledging them will only give them recognition. With practice, your mind will not even know the thoughts flowed in, and they will dissipate before they are even recognized.
Why bother, if it is such hard work? Because once silence is deeply experienced, you recognize that it is the closest we can get to feeling the very presence of the divine. God addresses us all the time. Too often, we are incapable of listening to God’s “still small voice,” because we are too busy listening to everything else. Give it a try. Keep at it. You will learn to love the silence.
