Becoming Our True Selves
written by Rev. Dr. Scott Paczkowski
“My mouth shall speak wisdom; the meditation of my heart shall be understanding.”
When I meditate, instead of counting breaths, I breathe in the thought “Father,” (sorry for the exclusive language, but in meditation it works for me), I breathe out “Son,” and then breathe in “Spirit.” I do that repeatedly for 20 minutes. During that time, as the mind rests, knowing it will only hear those three words, the mind lifts beyond my consciousness to a blank slate.
The blank place in meditation is calm, restful, and a place I recognize and enjoy. The blank, meditative location is my true self. The blank place is not encumbered by distraction, expectation, or shame. It is a place that used to be harder to find, but like a path you’ve walked a thousand times, you get there easily now. The blank meditative space is free of earthly demands and criticisms.
The blank space is necessary because it is like a blank sheet of paper. Amid all our limitations and mistakes, our meditative space is wiped clean each time we focus on our breathing and count our breaths (or, in my case, breathe the Trinity). With a clean inner sheet of paper, I am now able to write a new story of what I want to be in this world. I breathe the Trinity as a way of inviting God into the meditative writing process.
If we do not write our mental page, then others will. The voices of distant friends, family, colleagues, or other influences will write our story with all their well-intentioned shame and manipulation. By entering your meditative blank space, you and God write a new page.
The daily meditative rewrite of your life enables you to respond differently, focusing on the authentic person you and God envision for you, rather than reacting to the subconscious voices that attempt to steer your life. The meditative rewrite allows God to change your life. You are not a closed book, but a work in progress. You are changing, growing, and transforming your life each time you let God help you clean the page and write a new you through meditative prayer. Positive change is possible when you rewrite the story on the page, in your soul.
